Growing Up
by havelocke
Summary: Girls are yucky. [sora x roxas] au. incest. yaoi.


**Note:** For Laura, who deserves more. These two are really growing on me.

* * *

Growing Up

* * *

**i.**

At age five, Sora gets his first kiss. It's clumsy, sloppy, and wet, and makes him push the girl in the yellow sundress away. He runs to his brother, who's at the other side of the playground playing with the sand and making castles. His cheeks are stained and his voice is high and hiccups when he tries to tell Roxas what happened.

Roxas frowns and Sora isn't sure if he's mad at him for being scared or for crying all together. He looks at his feet, ashamed that the kiss has bothered him this much. When he looks up, Roxas moves forward and presses his lips to his. The kiss is soft, short, and tastes like pink lemonade and Sora prefers this much more than the first. He decides at this point that girls are yucky and he would never want to kiss another one ever again.

They break apart and Sora knows everything will be okay because Roxas is blushing and smiling all at once. He takes his brother's hand and they walk towards the sandbox where a half made castle is waiting. They sit and giggle, as the sand tickles their toes, under the sunshine.

**ii.**

At age ten, Sora decides girls are not only yucky, but they're mean too. He actually likes this one, the one with the silver hair and very green eyes. It baffles him how competitive she can be and how she's just as strong as he is. He likes it when they race, he likes it when they tumble, he likes it when her silver hair flickers the tip of his nose when he jumps from behind to surprise her.

He wonders if kissing her will be different, if kissing her won't get him those dreaded cooties. It looks as though it might be hard because she's taller and he may have to tiptoe to reach her lips.

He tries kissing her once and he's pushed away. He tries again and is slapped. This jars him and the skin under the hand print is red and feels like burning embers. Sora is left there confused and feeling like he wants to cry.

He wonders off towards the beach where his brother and the girl with the yellow sundress are playing. Roxas stops and runs up to him. He frowns at Sora, who is holding his cheek, and Sora feels like he's five again.

The girl in the yellow dress sees what's happening and goes off to talk to her silver haired friend.

Roxas takes Sora by the hand and leads him towards the shore. The water quickly sloshes towards their feet when they enter, the foam dancing around their ankles. Roxas bends down and brings up cupped hands. The water is cool and relieves the burning on Sora's face. Roxas' fingers gently brush against the tender flesh of cheek, and Sora leans into his touch, wanting more.

When he feels his brother's touch is gone he opens his eyes. He's caught in the web of Roxas' gaze and Sora stares into his eyes, blue, blue eyes that look as though they drink from the ocean.

He looks down at his feet, heat circling his cheeks again; only this time there is no slap. He doesn't know why he feels so embarrassed. Or why his stomach is sloshing about like the waves are at their feet. Or why he hopes Roxas will kiss him again to make him feel better.

"You do know Riku is a boy, right?"

And Sora looks up to see Roxas smirking. He frowns. He doesn't like being mocked.

"I wonder if Riku would want to be your boyfriend," Roxas says laughing. He splashes Sora with cool water and Sora ends up blocking.

Sora pouts, but ends up laughing when Roxas slips and falls into the water. He holds out a helping hand and Roxas grasps it. Sora pulls him up and shivers when Roxas holds onto him tightly.

He wonders then, if Roxas wouldn't mind being his boyfriend instead.

**iii.**

At fifteen, Sora is older and none the wiser. He's stuck in between the stages of boy and man, where hormones take over and the word Lust is often confused with Love.

He learns as a teen there are rules to follow and he tries with all his might not to break them.

He begins by courting a girl with unusual dark red hair and amazing clear blue eyes. She tucks some strands behind her ear and asks if he would like to come over to her house again.

Sora is hesitant at first and knows this language all too well. They go to her room to study, but he knows studying is the last thing on their minds as their lips meet and their shirts are popped open.

He kisses her and finds that her lips are just too small. He prefers lips to be firmer, and fuller than that. He traces his hand down her neck and it feels soft, like cotton velvet. His fingers slip down her chest and trace the curve of her supple breast. She moans at his feather like touch and presses her harden nubs against him. Sora wants to stop, she's too close, and everything on her is much too soft. He feels as though he might sink into her if he presses her skin too hard.

She pushes him down and straddles him. There's a smirk on her face and her cheeks are flushed. He feels his body sink into her mattress and he wishes it would swallow him whole. But he gulps down his nerves and bravely cups her chin. He pulls her down for a chaste kiss and she runs away with it. She drags the kiss down his neck, past his chest, towards his navel. Her fingers unclasp his pants with ease and she stops when she's met with his underwear.

He sits up and rests what he can of his weight on his elbows and sees her blush when she looks up at him. She looks as if she wants to ask him something and Sora doesn't know why. They've gotten this far along before, why stop there?

Sora nods and she gently slides his underwear down. He isn't as hard as he would like to be, but her soft hands take a hold of him.

He winces when she stokes too fast and he softens when she strokes too slow. She apologizes and knows this is going all wrong and Sora blushes at his lack of enthusiasm and performance. Before another minute goes by, they both decide that it's best to get dressed and forget this ever happened.

They sit in silence, side by side, both faces red and full of embarrassment. Sora feels guilty and he hopes his lack of luster wasn't due to the promises he has made before.

Sora promised himself he wouldn't think about doing these same kinds of things with Roxas.

He promised her he would stop moaning his brother's name after orgasm hit.

He frowns in thought and she looks up at him, tucking back some red strands behind her ear.

Sora wants to say he's sorry. He wants to apologize for not being normal. But before his mouth can open, a finger is pressed against his lips.

"It's okay," she says, and her smile afterwards is bittersweet.

At this point, Sora learns that girls have fragile hearts and that the sweetest girls tend to fall down the hardest.

He tells her he'll call her as he gets the rest of his things, but he knows deep down that he won't.

She knows too, but she smiles anyway because mentally, she's picking up the pieces of her broken heart.

Sora smiles awkwardly and tries his best to not stumble over her things as he goes home.

**iv.**

Sora comes home in a somber mood and lies on his bed, auburn hair spilling on white sheets. There's a knock on the door and Roxas comes in asking a question about dinner.

Sora doesn't answer and just stares at the ceiling. He feels as though he's going about this growing up business all wrong. He feels as though he'll never get it right.

Roxas walks over and Sora sees the frown on his face. He doesn't answer when Roxas questions what happened. He doesn't move when his brother straddles him to get his attention.

The blonde leans forward, pressing their foreheads together, and stares. Sora breathes in his brother's breath; it's hot and smells like cinnamon. He licks his lips and watches the ocean roar in his brother's eyes.

Roxas presses their lips together and Sora feels his heart jump. His lips aren't as soft as hers, but they're everything Sora wants them to be. He feels his face flush with heat and when Roxas pulls away, he finds himself frowning and pouting.

Roxas laughs and sits up. Sora's hands stop him at the hips when he moves and Roxas looks confused as to what his brother wants.

Sora bites his lip, ashamed as to what he's about to ask and afraid of what Roxas' answer will be. He wants his brother to help him decide if these feelings of his are normal. He wants to know if they're a part of growing up.

He sees Roxas' lips move, but hears no sound. He holds his breath when he sees him lean forward and he almost chokes when the tip of his brother's tongue plays with the lobe of his ear.

Sora whispers his questions as Roxas begins to press kisses along his jaw line. Their lips meet and mouths open. He can taste the cinnamon now, it's spicy and sweet. His hands at Roxas' hips slide down, then forward. He unclasps the button to his pants and the zipper gives way ease.

Roxas moans into his mouth and Sora feels dizzy from the heat collecting at his groin. He manages to get his own pants undone and soon Roxas starts rolling his hips, moving in a slow rhythm. Sora can't help but break their kiss as a moan escapes.

They're breaking all the rules now and Sora can't seem to think why he was following them in the first place. His mind can't function and all he can think about now is how good it feels to be finally rubbed the right way.

"Just like that," he wants to say, but Roxas already knows and the blonde continues to rub, press, push, and rock.

In no time Sora sees stars and he feels like he's losing his grip on the sky. He's falling, falling fast, and falling hard. His orgasm breaks his fall and he arches into his brother's neck.

Roxas shudders in orgasm right after and collapses on top of him. Sora feels as though the wind is gone from him and Roxas' chest is pounding like a drum.

Minutes past and neither move. Sora wonders if Roxas is embarrassed or if he's trying to figure out that what just happened actually _did_ happen.

Sora's fingers trace along side his brother's back and into his hair. His nails gently scrape his scalp and he feels Roxas shiver.

Roxas looks up, chin pressed into Sora's chest, lips forming a frown. Sora feels like he's five again and wonders if he did something wrong.

His brother blows at his eyes and Sora closes them. He whines about not being able to see and hears Roxas laugh. Before he can frown Roxas kisses him again. When Sora opens his eyes, he sees that Roxas' eyes are soft and that the rose color that ghosts his cheeks is not from shame, but from something else entirely.

Roxas nestles into his chest again, and doesn't move for some time. Sora stares at the ceiling, gently scratching the back of his brother's head.

At this point, Sora learns that he doesn't need girls to make him this happy. He doesn't need girls to help him change and he doesn't need girls to show the world that he's normal.

Sora thinks that Roxas is his soul mate and that no girl can ever beat that.

He watches his brother's head gently rise and fall on his chest as he breathes and finally falls asleep.


End file.
